Communication Methods

Communication  Methods

Communication occurs in an organization in the context of people trying to fulfill one or
several of the following six needs:

• To feel respected
• To give or get information
• To be empathically understood and respected
• To cause change of action
• To create excitement and reduce boredom
• To avoid something unpleasant, like silence or confrontation
The methods used by them to fulfill those needs include listening, speaking, reading and
writing.

 Listening

Various studies stress the importance of listening as a communication skill.
They point out that many of us spend 70 to 80 percent of our waking hours in some form of
communication. Of that time, we spend about 9 percent writing, 16 percent reading, 30
percent speaking, and 45 percent listening. Studies also confirm that most of us are poor
and inefficient listeners. Most people listen at an efficiency level of less than about 25
percent. Studies also show that, immediately after listening to a 10-minute oral presentation,
the average listener has heard, understood, properly evaluated, and retained only
half of what was said.
People generally remember
• 10 % of what they read
• 20 % of what they hear
• 30 % of what they see
• 50 % of what they hear and see
• 70 % of what they say and write
• 90 % of what they say as they do something

Management guru Stephen Covey differentiates listeners as those listening with the
intent to reply, and those listening with the intent to understand. Because listening is
so vital to workplace success, it is important to take note of the seven “sins” that get in
the way of good verbal communication (Dan Bobinski: The Seven Deadly Sins of (Not)
Listening):

Sin #1: Filtering

• This is when a person’s mind is sifting through another’s words and tuning in
only when he or she hears agreement. Commonly, a Filterer replies to someone
else’s statements with “yeah, but….”

Sin #2: Second Guessing

• Someone who is second-guessing usually misses important details because
they are too busy (a) imagining someone has hidden motives for saying what
they’re saying, and (b) trying to figure out what those hidden motives might be.

Sin #3: Discounting

• This sin occurs when a listener lacks respect for a speaker. What the speaker
is saying could be 100% dead on correct, but a Discounter will either internally
or publicly scoff at what’s being said, for any number of reasons. The sad thing
about Discounters is that they often miss the solutions to the problems before
them, simply because they don’t like the source. A milder form of discounting
occurs when content is brushed off just because the person speaking is not a
good speaker.

Sin #4: Relating

• A Relater is someone who continually finds references from his or her own
background and compares them to what the speaker is saying. Relaters often
appear self-centered, as everything they hear is publicly compared or contrasted
to his or her own experiences.

Sin #5: Rehearsing

• This sin blocks much listening as it is simply waiting for the other speaker to
finish what he or she is saying so the rehearser can start talking again. While
someone else is talking, the rehearser is thinking about how to say the next
sentence.

Sin #6: Forecasting

• Someone who takes an idea from the speaker and runs light years ahead of the
topic at hand is forecasting. Forecasting can stem from being bored with the
subject matter, or simply because one’s mind automatically thinks ahead.

Sin #7: Placating

• Worst of all listening sins, placating agrees with everything anyone else says,
just to avoid conflict.
There are a few but effective techniques used in being an active listener. These include
verbal and non-verbal techniques. These techniques show others that people are paying
attention to them and are interested in what they are saying.

Non-verbal techniques include:

• good eye contact
• facial expressions
• body language
• silence
• touching

Verbal techniques include:

• I’m “listening” cues
• disclosures
• validating statements
• statements of support
• reflection/ mirroring statements

It is very important to use “I-Messages” in a support group to convey one’s feelings to
the entire group. If feelings are not expressed, they are often disguised behind the
group. “I-Messages” also provide a preventative focus in that they keep undesirable
behaviors in check or they can insure that some things don’t happen or get carried
away. The use of “I-Messages” may also provide a soft mechanism for confrontation
and correction in that “I” is perceived as being softer than “you”.
Most of the messages sent to people about their behavior are “you” messages —
messages that are directed at the person. These have a high probability of putting
people down, making them feel guilty, and making them resistant to change. An “I Message”
allows a person who is affected by another’s behavior to express the impact
it is having on him or her. This leaves the responsibility for modifying the behavior with
the person who demonstrated the behavior.