Listening Tips

Listening Tips

􀂄 Usually it is important to understand the message and verbalize the content using your own
words. Simply parroting and reproducing the message word-by-word shows lack of proper
understanding on the part of the listener.

􀂄 Depending on the purpose of interaction, and understanding what is relevant, you could reflect
back the other person’s:

1. Account of the facts.
2. Thoughts and beliefs.
3. Feelings and emotions.
4. Wants, needs or motivation.
5. Hopes and expectations.

􀂄 Do not respond to just the meaning or the content of the message; look for the intent beyond the message. Try to look for the feeling associated with the meaning. The dictionary meaning or the surface code is not the message.

􀂄 Inhibit your impulse to answer questions immediately. The code may be in the form of questions. Sometimes people ask questions when they want to express themselves and may not be open to hearing an answer.

􀂄 If you are confused and know you do not understand, either tell the person you don’t understand and ask him/her to say it another way, or use your best guess. If you are incorrect, the person will realize it and will likely attempt to correct your misunderstanding. Try repeating key words and try and match the language of the speaker.

􀂄 Use eye contact and listening body language. Avoid looking at your watch or at other people or
activities around the room. Face and lean toward the speaker and nod your head, as it is appropriate. Be careful about crossing your arms and appearing closed or critical.

􀂄 Be empathic and nonjudgmental. You can be accepting and respectful of the person and their
feelings and beliefs without invalidating or giving up your own position, or without agreeing with the accuracy and validity of their view.