Ten Tips to Effectively Influence Others

Ten Tips to Effectively Influence Others

1) Set an outcome for what the other person will do, if you are successful in
influencing him/her.
a) Flush out in detail what would really be ideal for you - even if you think there’s no way
that ideal is possible. At a minimum, you’ll know your own goals, and you are likely to
get closer to them than you think.
b) Consider the other person’s outcome(s). Are there ways you can include their goals
in your proposal? What are the benefits and costs to him/her in doing what you want?
Are there ways to enhance his/her benefits and/or lessen his/her costs that could still
get you what you want?
2) Aim high when you make the first suggestion(s). Suggesting that he/she does
even more than you might really want gives you room to lessen your suggestions, and
makes it more likely you’ll get closer to what you really want in the final agreement.
3) Be congruent, and confident as you communicate. Other people usually notice
(not always consciously) your body language and voice tone, so if you’re uncertain in
making suggestions, it’s likely that will come across.
In other words, be as certain of yourself and your suggestions as you can possibly be.
This doesn’t mean you need to be demanding or argumentative. It does mean that you
present your position and/or requests as if you are certain that this is what you want. A
quiet, solid, clear confidence is often your best attitude.
4) Consider your long-term relationship with this person or people.
What impact will the results of this interaction have over time? What will your relationship
with him/her be if your suggestions are implemented? What will it be like if the
suggestions are not implemented?
5) Begin where they are, that is, acknowledging that they have a particular
perspective that makes sense for them. This is best done by considering their
mood and/or attitude, as well as the particular position he/she may have at the beginning
of the discussion.
6) Consider the larger context. What factors might make it difficult for the person
to do what you want? Can you develop some ideas that would minimize these
difficulties, or better yet, turn them into advantages for him/her?
7) What might you be able to give the person ‘no strings attached’? This can be
information, and need not be anything physical (such as a gift). Giving something can
be a good move towards developing a favorable context, a move inviting reciprocity
but be perfectly willing to have your ‘gift’ taken, without expecting anything back. So, it
needs to be something you can give freely.
8) Be clear on what you would get if this person agreed to your request. That is,
what would you benefit of influencing them so that you get your outcome?
One way to determine your benefits is to ask yourself “What would have this done for
me?” When you get the first answer, ask yourself the same question about that answer.
You may determine a wider range of options that would satisfy you. This gives you
more flexibility in making suggestions and/or requests from the person.
9) Are there any changes you could make to the environment that would make
it more likely for the person to agree to your request?
This is intended as a thought-provoking question, i.e. to get you to think about factors
you might not ordinarily consider. For instance, there’s some evidence that people are
more likely to accommodate requests when they are eating (associating a pleasant
activity with your request). Hence the number of business deals that are completed
over lunch.
Another environmental factor when influencing someone is to consider whether to
discuss an issue on the phone, in person, or by e-mail. In many cases, you will get a
very different response to the same request, depending on how it is made.
Thinking of the environment in a slightly broader sense, for instance, could you,
persuade a colleague of the person to, say, be more cooperative. Perhaps this
increased cooperation would make it easier for the person to take your suggestions.
10) It goes without saying, of course, that when you are successful in
influencing, you’ll certainly live up to the agreements that you’ve made - both
during and after the ‘influence time’. These agreements should be implemented as the
other person understands them. This requires you to verify that your communication
has been understood in the same way you intended it.
The benefit to you is a long-term business relationship, in which you have established
your reliability and in which you request the same. Atmospheres in which you trust one
another makes better business sense for all.
A person may use this as a checklist before an attempt to influence someone else,
decide to go through the list and choose which would be the most useful in a particular
a situation, or use it as a test of which items could be missing from an ongoing attempt
at influence.
Source: Lynda L. Fudold, Advanced Communications Group