COMMUNICATION SKILLS - Listening Behaviors

COMMUNICATION SKILLS - Listening Behaviors

So what are the keys to effective listening?
Careful analysis of skills that are used by people who are
recognized as ‘good listeners’, show that they use a variety
of techniques Some active listening skills are given as follows:

• Stop talking- listen openly to the other person.
• Remove distractions.
• Be receptive to the other person. Demonstrate
that you are prepared to listen and accept what
they are saying (without automatically agreeing
with it). Non-verbal cues can be particularly
important here, e.g. maintaining an open posture,
appropriate/comfortable eye-contact, leaning
slightly forward. These are sometimes known as
attending skills.
• Delay evaluation of what you have heard until you
fully understand it.
• Try not to be defensive. Try to relax as any tension
or impatience is likely to transmit via non-verbal
leakage.
• Maintain attention. Respond through your own
facial expressions or body gestures such as a nod
or a smile without interrupting the other person’s
flow. This indicates that you are listening,
interested and seeking to understand what they
are saying and feeling (again, using attending
skills). Be patient.
• Ask the other person for as much detail as he/she
can provide; reflect back or paraphrase what the
other is saying to make sure you understand it
and check for understanding. Paraphrase by
asking short non-interrogative questions, using
some of what the speaker has said to check your
understanding;
In summary, listen for message content, but also listen for
feelings. The latter tends to be communicated via nonverbal
cues such as tone of voice, facial expression etc.
Feelings can be reflected (e.g. ‘you seem really worried
about this?’ or ‘you seem to be feeling frustrated or
annoyed. Is that the case?’). Offering this feedback enables
any corrections of misinterpretations to be made.
• Ask appropriate questions e.g. ask the other for
their views or suggestions to broaden your
understanding of their position.
• If possible and appropriate, particularly in
meetings, take notes; decide on a specific follow-up
action and date.