COMMUNICATION – A KEY TO SOFT SKILLS

COMMUNICATION  – A KEY TO SOFT SKILLS

Among all the soft skills  the most important is Communication Skills as adequate communication skills are a prerequisite for a range of other soft skills. Communication is a basic activity of human beings which is undertaken by us every moment apart from the time when we are sleeping. Even now while reading these lines you are indulged in communication.

It is so important that we can say that the foundation of our society, family, relationships and organisation is communication. Do you think we should study, learn and be trained in an activity which is so natural and obvious to us. The answer of this question is yes.
In support of this answer let’s discuss the story of Robinson Crusoe – a traveller who got trapped in a lonely island for 30 years. There was not a single human being with whom he could talk and when he came back to his country he was not able to speak as he forgot how to speak.

Thus, in order to become masters in soft skills first we have to get expertise in communication skills. Especially for a human being where we have to continuously communicate effectively with different type of people in our daily life

HARD & SOFT SKILLS

HARD  &  SOFT SKILLS

In today’s competitive environment in order to become successful
a student needs to learn a right balance of two set of skills. These
two skills are – Hard skills and Soft skills.

Hard Skills

"Hard" skills are also called Technical skills .These
skills help us to perform well in the job. Schools do a good job of
teaching, reading, writing subjects like science, math and other
"hard" skills.
In the world of work, “hard skills” are that basic technical or
administrative procedures which are prerequisite to perform a job. We can learn these from
books or from hands-on experience.For example hard skill for a teacher is comprehensive
knowledge of his/her subject. These skills are typically easy to observe, quantify and
measure. They are also easy to learn, because most of the time the skill sets are brand new
to the learner and no unlearning is involved.“Hard skills ...are typically easy to observe, quantify andmeasure. They are also easy to train, because most of the time the skill sets are brand new
to the learner and no unlearning is involved.”

Soft Skills

Soft skills are also called People Skills. These are desirable qualities for certain forms of
employment that do not depend on acquired knowledge, rather they include common
sense, the ability to deal with people, and a positive flexible attitude
Soft skills differ from context to context and vary from individual to individual perception. Also the problem with soft skills is that there is a basic assumption that they are inborn skills. But a closer examination of these skills would suggest otherwise. While some individuals exhibit these skills naturally, some learn these skills on their own through experience but for a majority of individuals these can also be acquired and nurtured over time. That's why it's so important to focus as much on soft skills training and development as you do on traditional hard skills. Soft skills help you to gain an edge in your personal life, social life as well as in your job. Many researches have proved that individuals with good soft skills are preferred more for a job than the one who lacks in soft skills.

Speech/Presentation development

Speech/Presentation development

·  Do not assume the audience knows what you mean; always
define words or phrases for purpose of clarity. How detailed
your definitions are will depend on your audience.
·  Consider limitations imposed by time. Many subjects cannot be
explained or fully developed in the available speaking time.
Under these conditions speeches/presentations must be
narrowed and focused.
·  Pay attention to the amount of time allotted to each portion of
the speech in order to ensure that more weight is given to the
more important aspects of your presentation.

Speech/Presentation writing

It is important to say more about less by focusing a speech instead
of trying to cover too much. Covering too much will make a
speech too sketchy to be effective. It is better to focus your
presentation on certain aspects of your topic. Your objective is to
organize your ideas and materials into a cohesive presentation,
which will make a positive impression on your audience.
Speech writing strategy
·  Develop an outline. Outlining your speech will give you a
better idea on coordinating a series of points, which have
elements in common. Each section of your outline should have
only one idea or statement.
·  Sequence your presentation outline. This will help give you a
structure on which to build.
Review the main ideas to make sure you are in line with the
objectives and purpose of your presentation.
Do not give an audience too much information, which will result in
them remembering less.

Importance of The audience in Presentations

Importance of The audience in Presentations

Knowing your audience is critical when designing your
presentation.
·  How much does the audience
already know about your
topic? This will determine
how much information you
will have to give the audience
at the beginning of your
presentation.
·  Is your audience willing to
accept new ideas?
·  To how many people will
you be speaking? With a small group it might be possible to
have a more thorough analysis of your topic. However, a large
group often requires a presentation to be more general.
Remember the basic objectives of your presentation must meet the
needs and objectives of your audience.

BEING GREEN

BEING GREEN

When you communicate green you give space to your interlocutor. You ask questions and you listen actively. You show your understanding, support, you cheer up and you are attentive, open and honest.

Verbal language

The green verbal language is influenced of I-messages. You use many questions, both extension (open) questions and more thoroughly questions: “How do you inspire co-operation in the team?”, ”What makes the co-operation good?”, ”Tell me a little more about it”, ”What would you like to talk about?”. The green communicator also repeats what the interlocutor says in order to help him think deeper and to be active in the communication. You don’t speak much yourself.

Para-language

Calm and clear tone of voice

Body language

In accordance with the situation - You are natural and calm.

Methods

Your words, body and your tone of voice are concordant and you are listening actively. You try to imagine your interlocutor’s perspective and you are interested and curious to know more about what the person thinks and why the person thinks that way. You let your interlocutor have his own opinion and you don’t try to convince him that your opinion should be his. You don’t come with good advices and solutions; you let the interlocutor reach his own.

BEING BLUE

BEING BLUE

When you communicate blue, you take space, you analyse, explain, manage, set goals, make decisions, take responsibility, show enthusiasm and you are independent.

Verbal language

The verbal language is influenced by I-messages: I think, I mean, I would like to say; it is my opinion and from my point of view. Your message is precise, unequivocal and concrete. You are, in general, very objective; describe the concrete effect; don’t exaggerate and do not use interpretation as judgement and labelling. When you are blue you speak a lot.

Para-language

You are calm and your tone of voice is clear.

Body language

In accordance with the situation – naturally, using a lot of gesticulation.

Methods

Your words, body and your tone of voice are concordant. You are listening actively and you let your interlocutor finish the talk. You only interrupt when it is necessary to manage the conversation. You pick up and round off the discussion and you try to understand your interlocutor’s perspective. You only take decisions based on concrete information. You express your own thoughts.

BEING YELLOW

BEING YELLOW

When you are yellow you are giving up, you give excuses, you are uncertain, evasive, you submit. You are adjusting yourself to the situation and you are soothing and whimpering. You are flattening and oppress yourself.

Verbal language

Verbal language is characterised by wariness markers such as: if you say so, in a way, well, in one way or another. Verbal language is also marked by other statements, such as: may I, can I, I will do that, I am sorry, what do you mean?
You downgrade your statement, “Maybe it could be a little better”.

Para-language

You use low-voiced tone and you don’t stress your words.

Body language

You look down when you talk and you have a stooping posture. When you are yellow you have a worried look and you touch yourself or a pen or a ring much.

Methods

You don’t say a lot. You explain a lot and post rationalize. You keep back your aggression and you don’t set your boundaries. You don’t want to come to a decision and miss the point.
You use expressions such as: “It's all the same to me; “It’s not my job”, “Why are you never telling me anything”.
Blue

BEING RED

BEING RED

When you are red, you are self-assertive, dominating, aggressive, intolerant, condescending, sarcastic, insulting, threatening, aggressive and not listening. You are closed too.

Verbal language

You use many judging words as: always, never, should, must do, just and easy. Up graders: Reinforcement of the words (also much used in the Para-language).

Para-language

Speaking loud and stressing the words; talking too much. Person is authoritative and snarling tone of voice.

Body language

You use a judging look, and your posture is perhaps over-straight and tense. You use your pen as a sword and use a lot of gesticulation; maybe you frown as well.

Methods

When you communicate red you cause difficulties and have negative attitude which is the result of the previously received impressions. You come with threats and “speak down” to other persons. You interrupt and ignore what other person says, and you “follow the person instead of the ball”.

Apart from being directly red, you can also be indirectly red.
When you are indirect you use sarcasm and you get rid of your indignation by talking “between the lines”. When a person is indirectly red you don’t know where he/she is. They practice the method: “Guess why I am surly”. You know that the person is offended, but you do not know why.

Characteristics of the four colours

Characteristics of the four colours

Characteristics of blue and green

Both blue and green communication is responsible communication, because you provide a constructive dialogue and not a power struggle. The characteristic of blue and green is that you are honest, sincere and direct. You know what outcome you want to achieve in conversation – you have a goal and you are calm.

Characteristics of red and yellow

Red and yellow communication is the opposite of blue and green. It is not responsible communication when you communicate red and yellow, because you take no responsibility to create a good conversation. You only try to get your own arguments through.
The characteristics of red and yellow are that you are unreliable, indirect, nervous and have a shifty glance.

How is the colour expressed in communication?

How can you recognize the colours in communication? What can you actually do to make the communication blue and green? Knowledge about that you can use in situations where you have a dialogue or conversation with other people. You will discover that when you communicate blue and green, your interlocutor will find you more positive and honest. He or she will be ready to be open to you because you show confidence.

Communication in colours

Communication in colours

We all know that conversation or a discussion is sometimes better than other times. Try to think about when a discussion or a conversation with a colleague is really good! What makes it a good discussion or conversation?
Our guess is that a discussion or conversation is good when there is room for both communicators and when both parties are listening too each other. We call it: “to communicate blue and green”.
The opposite is bad communication. It is the conversation or discussion where one of the communicators tries to take over all the time. The power-hungry, in this case, is vocal which doesn’t listen to others’ arguments. He is self-asserting and dominant. One part flattens the other. Such reaction can affect people in the way that they will be shy, get the sense of guilt and lose their self-confidence. They almost apologize for having an opinion. This way of communication destroys a good conversation or dialogue. We call it “to communicate red and yellow”.
asserting or despondent sometimes. How you behave and in which colour you communicate depends on:
• Situation – at home or at work etc.
• The persons you are with. (Conditions and earlier conversations with the persons influence your behaviour)
• The way you feel (the mood influence you)

ACTIVE LISTENING

ACTIVE LISTENING

A great part of being a person is to listen and it is one of the things that are difficult for most people. To listen demands an active effort, to search and understand the meaning of what is said. It means that you must try and understand what your colleagues are saying and not what you want to hear.
Active listening is a conscious act that you can train.

Good advice to listen active

• Don’t be prejudiced against the speaker and what is spoken.
• Don’t make conclusions too fast.
• Don’t plan your answer while you are listening.
• Keep distance to your own meaning and problems.
•Be concentrated and listen to the essential points.
•Be aware of the speaker’s tone of voice and the body language.
•Be aware of your own body language.
•Use reflection, nod, and “I understand you – sounds”
•Ask to what is said if you are not sure.
•Tell if you have no time.

Typical blockage for active listening

•You don’t finish listening because you think you already understood
• You interrupt with a “but”
• You tell parallel stories – “it is like when…”
• Deliver the solution – “you just do….”
•Inattentive to body language, mime and tone of voice – don’t feel the difference between the surface and the depth in the message.
•You don’t ask quality questions – divert attention from the essential.
•You don’t avoid emotional reactions – “Why the hell is it always me?”

GENERAL SENTENCES – CLICHÉS

GENERAL SENTENCES – CLICHÉS

It is important that you are only talking for yourself, if you are not directly asked for something else. If you don’t use that way of talking it will be easy to judge other people with your words or will talk in general – clichés.

“You always forget our appointments”
“You always say that…”
“When you don’t carry back the training plan to the employee, I will be irritated because you don’t keep a promise and because it causes more work”

Beware of words like: Never, always, 100% guaranteed etc.
Listen actively
A great part of being a person is to listen and it is one of the things that are difficult for most people. To listen demands an active effort, to search and understand the meaning of what is said. It means that you must try and understand what your colleagues are saying and not what you want to hear.
Active listening is a conscious act that you can train.

ASSERTIVENESS - SELF-CONFIDENT REACTIONS

ASSERTIVENESS - SELF-CONFIDENT REACTIONS

1. I have the right to express myself unless I jeopardize other people.
2. When I plead for my rights I show self-respect and other people respect me as well.
3.Expressing my rights and needs clearly means that I take responsibility for myself and do not make someone else responsible.
4.If I do not tell other people about the way their behaviour affects me I will not give them the chance to change it.
5.Sacrificing my rights and needs I don’t allow other people to take care about me.
6.To the extent that I am free to plead for myself and to admit this to other people I get more from life.
7.Not making other people realize the way I feel is a kind of and a way of controlling others.
8.When I do for myself what I feel is right, I feel better and make my relationship with other people more authentic and satisfactory.

I-sentence has more effect if you use the form”One could” about your self. An I-sentence underlines that you take responsibility in the situation and for what you are saying.
“I definitely think it will work!”
“One could say it will work”
Another important point is to use the I-sentence in front of the sentence; it will give your message more power and give you better possibilities to reach your colleagues.
“This is a good suggestion I suppose”
“I mean that this is a good suggestion”

Assertive communication

Assertive communication

Assertiveness implies direct, clear and honest expression of feelings, needs and attitudes to a person violating the rights of other people by his/her own behavior. It is the ability to confront someone in a non aggressive and non manipulative manner.

SIMPLE ASSERTIVE SENTENCE contains an attitude, fact or observation. It is a short sentence expressing the need or right of the speaker.
Examples:
1. I cannot hear you well.
2. It bothers me when you interrupt constantly.
3. You blocked me by your car.

EMPHATIC ASSERTIVENESS contains empathy, the recognition of other person’s condition and feelings and assertiveness, the expression of personal feelings.
Examples:
1.You speak quietly. I cannot hear you well.
2. I can see that my words disturb you but I need to finish what I am saying.
3. Sorry to interrupt, you have blocked me by your car and I have to leave immediately.

ASSERTIVENESS WHICH REQUIRES RESPONSE is a direct message of our need which requires our listener to express precisely his opinion, attitude or feeling.
Examples:
1.I cannot hear you well and I need to hear what you are saying. Could you speak up please?
2.I can see that my words disturb you but I need five more minutes to finish what I am saying. Could you wait until I finish?
3. I can see that I am interrupting an interesting conversation but you have blocked me by your car. I have to leave immediately, could you come along and move your car?

NEGATIVE FEELINGS ASSERTIVENESS contains:
а) neutral description of other person’s behavior,
b) personal feelings in a given situation and
c) the thing that the speaker would like the listener to do or an actual effect of someone else’s behavior on the speaker.
Example:
1.When you interrupt, it makes me nervous and afraid of forgetting what I was going to say and it is really important to me to express myself.
2.When you block me by your car I feel desperate and would like you to tell me whether our agreement about the parking place is still on.