Conflict Management Skills - Attitude for Mediators
The following attitudes are relevant whenever you want to advise, in a conflict which
is not your own. It may be a friend telling you about a problem on the telephone. It
may be an informal chat with both conflicting people. It may be a formally organized
mediation session.
• Be objective - validate both sides, even if privately you prefer one point of
view, or even when only one party is present.
• Be supportive - use caring language. Provide a non-threatening learning
environment, where people will feel safe to open up.
• No judging - Actively discourage judgments as to who was right and who
was wrong. Don’t ask “Why did you?” Ask “What happened?” and “How did you
feel?”
• Steer process - Not content! use astute questioning. Encourage suggestions
from participants. Resist advising. If your suggestions are really needed, offer
as options not directives.
• Win/win - Work towards wins for both sides. Turn opponents into problem-solving
partners.
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