SHARMAS COMMUNICATION SKILLS-Reactions that block communication

Reactions that block communication

Often receivers have ways of responding that are considered by researchers as high–
risk responses that are likely to block communication, increase the emotional distance
between people and decrease the other person’s problem-solving efficiency.

These responses have been divided into three major categories:

• Criticizing
Many people feel that they ought to be critical or the other person will never improve.
They feel that it is their responsibility to make a negative evaluation of the other person’s
actions or attitudes.

• Name Calling
Labelling, putting down the other person, prevents people from getting to really know
the other

• Diagnosing
One person informs the other that he is being defensive, or he is acting out of guilt or
fear or some other unconscious motives. “I can read you like a book…..”
Communication is blocked.

Sending Solutions

• Ordering
An order is a solution sent coercively and backed by force. People become defensive
and resentful. Ordering might eventually lead to sabotage. Orders imply that the other’s
judgment is unsound and thus tend to undermine self-esteem.

• Threatening
A threat is a solution sent with an emphasis on punishment that will be forthcoming if
the solution is not implemented. Threats produce the same kind of negative feelings to
the results produced by orders ‘You will do it or else...”

• Moralizing
Many people like to back their solutions with the force of moral or theological authority.
“It’s the right thing to do” “You ought to tell him you are sorry” Moralizing fosters anxiety,
arouses resentment and blocks honest self-expression.

• Advising
The advice-giving trap is a constant temptation when someone talks to you about her
problems. What’s wrong with the advice? Often it is seen by the other as a basic insult
to his/ her intelligence. It implies a lack of confidence in the capacity of the other person
to cope with her problems. And the advisor seldom understands the full implications of
the problem. The advisor may be unaware of the complexities, feelings, and many
other factors that lie hidden beneath the surface.

Avoiding the other’s concerns

• Diverting
One of the most frequent ways of switching a conversation from the other person’s
concern to one’s own topic is called “diverting”.
Diverting appears when people lack the awareness and skills to listen effectively. At
other times diversion appears when people are uncomfortable with the emotions
stimulated by the conversation.

• Logical argument
When persons are under stress or when there is conflict between people, providing
logical solutions can be frustrating. Logic focuses on facts and typically avoids feelings.
However, feelings may be the main issues. Using logic, even if really needed, may be
a high-risk response-blocking communication.