SHARMAS COMMUNICATION SKILLS-Actions for Effective Communication

Actions for Effective Communication

Action1. Listen more carefully and responsively. Listen first and acknowledge what
you hear, even if you don’t agree with it, before expressing your experience or point of
view. In order to get more of your conversation partner’s attention in tense situations,
pay attention first; listen and give a brief restatement of what you have heard (especially
feelings) before you express your own needs or position. The kind of listening
recommended here separates acknowledging from approving or agreeing.
Acknowledging another person’s thoughts and feelings does not have to mean that
you approve of or agree with that person’s actions or way of experiencing, or that
you will do whatever someone asks.

Action2. Explain your conversational intent and invite consent. You can help your
conversation partners cooperate with you and reduce possible misunderstandings by
starting important conversations with a stated invitation to join you in the specific kind
of conversation you want to have. The more the conversation is going to mean to you,
the more important it is for your conversation partner to understand the big picture.
Most conversations express one or another of about thirty basic intentions, which imply
different kinds of cooperation from your conversation partners. They can play their role
in specific conversations much better if you clarify for yourself, and then identify for
them, the role you are asking for, rather than leaving them to guess what you want.
When you need to have a long, complex, or emotion-laden conversation with someone,
it can make a GIANT difference if you briefly explain your conversational intention first
and then invite their consent. Many successful communicators begin special
conversations with a preface that goes something like: “I would like to talk with you for
a few minutes about [subject matter]. When would it be a good time?” The exercise
for this step will encourage you to expand your list of possible conversations and to
practice starting a wide variety of them.