SHARMAS COMMUNICATION SKILLS-Overcoming Roadblocks

Overcoming Roadblocks

1. Listening

Since people have two ears and only one mouth, listening might be the most important
communication skill. Unfortunately few people are good listeners. Listening is more
than merely hearing with our ears. Listening is a combination of what another person
says and involvement with the other person who is talking.
Active listening is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves
mutual understanding, overcoming communication roadblocks. There are five levels
of active listening:

Basic Acknowledgments: Basic acknowledgements include verbal, visual - nonverbal
signs and vocal sounds that let the speaker know how the audience is listening
with interest and respect, such as: head-nodding, leaning forward or backward, making
eye contacts, “uh-huh”, “oh really”, “no-kidding”, ‘tell me more”, “I hear you”, “so..”, “I
see”, “yes”.

Questions: The idea of asking questions may seem contradictory to the idea of listening.
But an active listener is asking questions in order to show the speaker his/ her
interest (a) in what is being said (b) in knowing more to gain a better understanding of
the speaker’s point of view. Open-ended questions are preferable to close-ended
questions, because they are providing opportunities for the speaker to open up, to
explore his/ her thoughts and feelings. It is also important to ask one question at a
time.

Paraphrasing: Paraphrasing focuses on the speaker’s content, and summarizing
what was said in order to clarify and confirm correct understanding. The steps of the
paraphrasing process are:
(a) Let the speaker finish what he/she wanted to say.
(b) Restate with your own words what you think the speaker has said
(c) If the speaker confirms your understanding continue the conversation
(d) If the speaker indicates you misunderstood ask the speaker to repeat. “I do not
understand. Could you say it again?”

Mirroring feelings
Mirroring involves reflecting back to the speaker the emotions s/he is communicating.
Do not miss the emotional dimension of a conversation, by focusing exclusively on the
content. Encourage the speaker to disclose feelings – may be joy, sorrow, frustration,
anger or grief. The reflection of feelings will help the speaker understand his/ her own
emotions and move toward a solution of the problem. In order to understand and mirror
feelings:
(a) Observe the feeling words the speaker uses.
(b) The speaker may not use feeling words at all because suppression of feelings
is so widespread in our culture. Then, focus on the content and ask yourself: If I
were having that experience, if I were saying and doing those things what would
I be feeling?
(c) Observe the body language, facial expressions, the tone of the voice, gestures
and posture.

Reflecting meanings
Once a person knows how to reflect feeling and content separately it is relatively easy
to put the two together into a reflection of meaning. It would be useful to use the formula:
“You feel (insert the feeling word) because (insert the event or other content
associated with the feeling)”

• Summative Reflections
A summative reflection is a brief restatement of the main themes and feelings the
speaker expressed over a longer period of discussions.
A good summarization may help the speaker have a greater coherence, a better
understanding of the situation and draw conclusions.